trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
