I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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