why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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