do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
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