matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
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