Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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