Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Holy shit dude........stairs
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
