Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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