I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
