She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
