Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
