Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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