It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
