She is in my trunk
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
