i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Is this like a preordered booty call?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
