Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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