Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
Can Purell be used as lube?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
