i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
