shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
