If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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