so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize