I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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