Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
