Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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