only you would photoshop your dick
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
