Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
