Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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