with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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