do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
