Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
They should really pass out barf bags in church
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Randomize