Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
