I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
