I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
Randomize
