so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
Randomize