Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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