But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
