those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
