I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
