But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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