Small penises have feelings too.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
