I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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