hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
