I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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