I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
