Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
