Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
He has the fingertips of a God
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