fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
