the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
