like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
