But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
