Please don't use social media to get back at me.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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