I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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