In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
