so that wasnt chicken after all
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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