That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
