what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize
