NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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