Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
