I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize