As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Randomize
