hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I cannot find my penis.
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
