Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
So I have to send you an email about my weekend, heretofore referred to as The Perfect Weekend. Wherein I have lots of awesome sex with a guy with THE MOST AMAZING BODY.
I look forward to this email. I will respond with, Condoms and Creepers: The Adventures of Online Dating.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
