he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Randomize
