Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
