i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
