Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize