how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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