I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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